Monday, February 25, 2013

Lost Triforce Shards The Coolest Sounding Request to Lower Your Expectations Oct 01, 2012 12:39AM PST

I played tons of Super Mario World as a kid. By tons, I mean I played up to like the first castle, occassionally other levels based on where my brother had gotten to, but I played those initial levels a lot. 

Oh, and I remember A Link to the Past quite well... cause I thought it was a nerdy game for girls. It looked like an RPG, which it was, but I mean turn-based, which I only tolerated for like three/four games in the span of my lifetime. The girly part was I only ever remember playing it at my brother's best friend's house. She was female, they grew up together, hate each other now, blah blah. 

You nerds enjoy elf-boy, while I control my plumber riding a baby dinosaur like a real man!

And I remember Super Metroid really well too... cause I always saw it in Blockbuster, and wanted it cause it had a fucking dragon and lasers on the box... which was the problem: dragon means turn-based RPG, said my 4-6 year old brain. I'm not falling for this shit again.


Fool me once, shame on me, cause you weren't even trying to.

And so, here we are roughly 16 years later, and I've played every main Gamecube and N64 Zelda, every GBA Metroid, and Primes 1 and 2 with no knowledge or nostalgia, at all, of their most highly acclaimed entries.

All I remember is seeing SM in Blockbuster, and Link to the Past having lots of rain, shrubbery, and asshole enemies with arrows on bridges making me die a lot.

And so, everyone, please lower your expectations for my SNES retrospective in terms of big names. You'll definitely recognize a few more than on the NES one, but don't get shocked when I don't remember your big guns, and instead recall us owning Carmen San Diego and ... I think Toy Story; hell we rented it enough, at the very least. 

Are there any games you regret never playing? Personally, I regret never renting Psychonauts or Beyond Good and Evil.

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