Friday, February 22, 2013

Drama drama drama Apr 07, 2007 2:42PM PST

EDIT: If you haven't seen any of these movies, then comment on some dramas you HAVE seen.

Because smashbro asked so nicely.

Why it's hardcore:

Because of the big emotional payoff obviously. Or it can just be really interesting in a cerebral way.

Sometimes it's both, take for instance


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This film about racism and the effects it has on people avoids the one-way street ignorance of pointing the blame at any single people or acting like any one race is altogether more guilty than the other.

There's a scene in which a little girl comes close to death and many other surprises that while getting you engaged in the story are able to make you feel for the characters, and sometimes you find that their everyday selves may not be their true selves in certain situations. It?????s actually my favorite movie I've seen so far.

Of course, sometimes you might like the characters(everyone else), or think they're stupid but like the story(me) as in

The Prestige

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It features two magicians making big sacrifices in order to screw each other over and give themselves a better act.

Now the magician played by Hugh Jackman wants revenge on Christian Bale's character for a certain trick that went so awry someone's wifey died. The movie wants you to like Christian Bale's character better than Jackman(as evident in making Jackman seem like a lunatic in some scenes) but at first I liked Jackman better anyway. Hey, if someone kills my wife I'm getting pissed too. But at the end I just thought they had put so many lives and lifestyles in danger for these magic tricks I thought they were both a little stupid.

But for as stupid as I think the two magicians are, they do have hot girlfriends' and uh, yeah, the movie's totally manages to offset them by being smart itself. The plot twists are excellent and I enjoyed the funny drunken double Jackman ends up hiring as well as Michael Cane's "comes off more sensible and charming than every other actor in every movie he's in" presence and the references to The Man that Started the Twentieth century and his supposed battles with Thomas Edison(meant to parallel the two magicians' quarrels). All in all no matter how I felt about certain characters, the acting was great all around and the storyline helped make this one of the more enjoyable movies I've seen.

Honorable Mention:

The Departed

It's a rat vs rat cop drama directed by Martin Scorsece, and I don't need to tell you any more(and kind of can?????t without giving out spoilers anyway)

Why It's For Posers:

Well it can be too damn preachy, boring or just flat out awful.

On the flat out awful side of things we have craptastic "dark comedy"

The House Of Yes

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Oh God, it hurts just to look at this piece of gigantic crap. Despite that its tagline "Enter if you dare" definitely makes sense, about every one character in the movie doesn't.

The characters seem fake, the dialogue sucks, and using the Kennedy assasination as foreplay turns out not to be sexy. Now however they pulled off that last one is beyond me but these filmmakers probably have the power to make anything that so much as sounds good suck hardcore.

Conclusion: Based on scientific evidence and research we have concluded that this sucks harder than both Monica Lewinski and Anna Nicole combined on a good day. This joke brought to you courtesy of 1995. Thank you.

Now for preachy and boring

Televangelism, the last few seasons of M*A*S*H, and kids anime that tried to teach us a lesson about friendship.

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May God and a giant kitten help us all.
Ok so none of these are quite that terrible, but you try to find something as crappy as House of Yes. I dare you.

Honorable Mention:


Sure it's supposed to be a comedy, but Nicole Kidman turns just about everything into drama with her magic powers.

Oh boohoo some jackass of an actor doesn?????t like me, let's use witch magic on him just for that!

It just goes to show that acting like an immature teenage girl is ten times more annoying when you're not actually a teenage girl.

And before everyone cries SEXIST at the top of their lungs I know plenty of teenage girls that are far more well adjusted than this idiot. Seriously. Like pretty much the majority of them.

Somewhere Inbetween:

Sometimes a movie isn't terrible but it's not something you want to own either due to that it's just so so sad. The following are recommended by me but not unless you have a sunshine bear at the ready before you start hopping the emo trail.

I'll Sleep When I'm dead

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Excellent British drama about an older brother's revenge. His younger brother is raped by a mob boss and kills himself later in the bathtub, forcing his brother to go hunting for some payback blood.

Interesting characters, storyline, and an ending that makes you think of which is worse: death or the eternal fear of dying.

On the downside, it's not exactly what you'd call uplifting cinema.

Mystic River

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Another rape in this film, with one of three friends getting picked up as a little boy by the crooked Boston police.

Some years later, someone's killed one of the three friends' daughters and this friend was a former crime boss. Another friend is a cop that's on the case and the poor raped friend's luck just won't stop coming with him being the prime suspect throughout most of the movie.

The ending will leave you speechless in two ways, one good and one bad

Good way: It's a hell of a surprise

Bad way: It's a hell of a morbid surprise

Honorable Mention:

Million Dollar Baby

Another Clint Eastwood film like Mystic River. Where Mystic River really got you involved in the story through the characters, here you get involved in the characters through the story.

When a scrawny poor little girl gets trained by a hardass boxing instructor(guess who plays him) she rises pretty high in the world of female boxing only for the movie to just spiral into a depressing ending.

Not that there aren't funny and heartfelt parts of the story, and it's ultimately not as sad as either of the two other films and can even arguably have a righteous ending; but don't expect it to leave you with the most upbeat outlook on life either.

For the record, I hated that stupid mother.

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