Update: Unfunny, just there to be rude, possibly unfair ridicule can help you decide
Rigor Mortis = laziest damn name ever
Shadows Fall= sounds like a PS1 RPG about darkness... ooh innovative!
Kingdom of Sorrow= Oh, what a cheery name for a Bioware epic... or a giant emo land
In This Moment = "We have a girl lead singer, let's name our band like it's a chick flick just cause"
Apocalyptica = Apocolyptica NoW! Team America go! Putting suffixes on well-known words about mass suffering is so cool!
Jonathon Davis = Never an egotistically named solo career is there?
Sevendust = .... I don't know why but I actually kinda like that name/can't come up with anything clever for it.
Soilent Green = the color feces turn after eating mint chocolate chip ice cream (this is the worst name imo)
Devildriver = Let's ALL worship Satan! Together! One big glue sniffing family!
Drowning Pool = Hey, it's like what happened when we drained those pools to skate in! Abuse to other's physical property FTW! Or just an obvious irony!
The Sword= We have LotR-themed songs and this was the cleverest thing up our sleeves
Cavalera Conspiracy = Another excuse to put two letters side by side facing opposite directions for mass logo appeal!
The Color Violence = As in red? Yeah, how cleveram I? 
(Note: it's a clockwork orange reference)
Unfortunately, certain bands at Ozzfest are definitely going to overlap. So to help me out, I'd like you to vote on who you think is best. Now I realize not many of you like this type of music (only riff, YaMissed2, Big Mex (I think), and Jonathon Davis-fanatic Hunter Red come to mind) in which case I'd love to hear decisions made on irrelevant shit like who's name sounds better or humorous reasoning that has nothing to do with the bands themselves. And if you actually do want to listen (some of you non-metalheads may note that Cavalera is formed by former members of Soulfly and that band was formed by members of Sepultura... small world), I'm linking each band to a youtube video.
Without further adieu:
In this Moment vs Soilent Green
Poll! Vote!
To be honest I've more or less made my decision on this one as I've already seen Soilent Green open forDethklok and they underwhelmed me and daffyphack, though riff seemed to enjoy them. I never heard of In this Moment before last years' Ozzfest and while at first glance they seemed like an Evanessence ripoff to me, I've come to accept them for the accesible female-lead pop-metal act they are on recordings. Plus, friends who saw them live last year seemed a lot more impressed than I would have imagined them to be, so I'm looking forward to it.
Poll! Vote!
This one's a bit tougher, because of the history behind Rigor Mortis. Now I hadn't heard of them until recently, but they're supposedly quite a big deal for Texas metalheads having been bred from the Dallas underground during the time of thrash's Four Horsemen (Metallica, Megadeth, Anthrax, Slayer).
But while it's really cool that Dallas has a band from the 80s thrash scene to boast it's not as melodic as the thrash I've enjoyed, and Apocolyptica's theme of a band covering classic metal tunes with cellos sounds great to me. What do you guy's think? I'm personally leaning towards Apocolyptica but the history behind Rigor Mortis makes them harder to miss than they likely would be. Cast your votes please, I need help!
Apocolyptica vs Kingdom of Sorrow vs Shadows Fall
Poll! Vote!
Kingdom of Sorrow is I think fronted by Jamy Jasta of Hatebreed, a band which very much impressed me thanks to its empowering message as well as its tunes. However, that actually makes them easier to miss in some respects as I've already seen relatively the same act live... but then that makes them a safe bet... hmm...
Shadows Fall doesn't sound hugely innovative either in the song linked here. It sounds like Trivium a bit in the verses and the melodic vocal choruses sound akin to Spanish-infused act Ill Nino. Personally, I'd prefer seeing Ill Nino live but there may be better songs for which these guys have been a Grammy nominated band. Hmm...
It almost looks as if Apocalyptica takes the cake again, if not for the fact they covered my favorite Metallica song "Fade to Black". But then the real Metallica is closing this Ozzfest (yup, they go on after Ozzy... at his fest). Again, votes appreciated lol.
Poll! Vote!
This could be a real easy decision depending on where Drowning chooses to put "Bodies" in their set. If they open with it, it won't be too hard to leave the Dallas-based rockers in favor of Shadows, especially considering the original singer on their most famous track is dead. But in case they decide they'll close with that hit, or stick it closer to the end, is Shadows really terribly better?
Devildriver vs Cavalera Conspiracy
Poll! Vote!
Another decision I've just about already made, if not because I am obsessed with "Clouds Over California" and songs like "Not All Who Wander Are Lost" are also quite impressive to me.
However, Cavalera is yet another band with strong thrash metal history, having members of older band Sepultura which gained prominence through the tape trading scene in the 80s (through which Metallica got popular before complaining about file trading/sharing) to become one of the most recognizable names in the thrash scene outside of the Big Four. They also boast former members of popular 90s rock act Soulfly and one hell of a breakdown in the song linked to above, despite its shortcomings melodically.
The Sword vs Cavalera Conspiracy vs Jonathon Davis
Poll! Vote!
I've never gotten the chance to see Korn, who has won over many people with their live act. Jonathon Davis, being that band's lead singer, is a potentially sweet but very iffy prospect on his own. His voice seperates Korn from the pack but can he do the same with his band on this tour, or am I just going to be reminded how unique his voice is without the charm it has in his other bands' songs?
The Sword makes a strong case in a very odd way. A while back, riff was contemplating whether he should see this Austin, Texas-based act. I found a song on Windows Media Player that impressed the hell out of me and he was convinced to go, having been impressed as well. Kicker is, I have no memory of that song's title and everything else they've done reminds me of Wolfmother because both bands are derivative of Led Zep. Especially Balaer's Blade linked to above, whose opening riff sounds much like "Woman". Still, their focus on Lord of the Rings subject matter and 70s-esque style might prove to be a good mix live.
Cavalera Conspiracy seems to have a stronger chance to get my attention versus these two, but only because Devildriver beats them so easily. Still, they make a compelling force with history and apparent talent regarding breakdowns.
This three-way match (immature giggle) is probably the hardest choice on the list.
Poll! Vote!
Sevendust is another act I've wanted to see for a while, a nu-metal act with many accessible hits like "Enemy" linked above, and should prove easy to listen to live. If Davis sucks it's a no brainer, but if he does make me feel some magic live, who do you think is the better choice just based on what you hear? I'm leaning towards Sevendust.
Main Stage:
METALLICA 9:45 - 11:15
OZZY OSBOURNE 8:00 - 9:15
SERJ TANKIAN 6:45 - 7:45
HELLYEAH/Dimebag Tribute 5:30 - 6:30
JONATHAN DAVIS 4:25 - 5:15
CAVALERA CONSPIRACY 3:35 - 4:15
SHADOWS FALL 2:50 - 3:25
APOCALYPTICA 2:10 - 2:40
IN THIS MOMENT 1:30 - 2:00
Second Stage:
SEVENDUST 4:30 - 5:00
DEVILDRIVER 3:30 - 4:00
KINGDOM OF SORROW 2:30 - 3:00
SOILENT GREEN 1:30 - 2:00
WITCHCRAFT 12:30 - 1:00
GOATWHORE 11:30 - 12:00
Texas (Third) Stage: *
THE SWORD 4:00 - 4:30
DROWNING POOL 3:00 - 3:30
RIGOR MORTIS 2:00 - 2:30
WITHIN CHAOS 1:00 - 1:30
THE DESTRO 12:00 - 12:30
1st Place Battle of Bands 11:00 - 11:30
2nd Place Battle of Bands 10:30 - 10:40
* Homage to the "many great metal bands that come from Texas."
The tribute to "Dimebag" Darrell Abbott will feature Abbott's brother, Vinnie Paul (acting as musical director and playing drums), along with an array of prominent hard rockers. This not-to-be-missed performance will salute the acclaimed guitarist whose December 2004 murder while performing onstage at a Columbus, Ohio club still has the hard rock/metal community reeling.
Artists confirmed to honor "Dimebag" Darrell Abbott include:
Kerry King (SLAYER)
Jerry Cantrell (ALICE IN CHAINS)
Mike Inez (ALICE IN CHAINS)
King Diamond
Scott Ian (ANTHRAX)
Kirk Hammett (METALLICA)
Jamey Jasta (HATEBREED, KINGDOM OF SORROW)
Chad Gray (MUDVAYNE, HELLYEAH)
Bob Zilla (DAMAGEPLAN, HELLYEAH)
These musicians will stand together onstage, following HELLYEAH's mainstage performance, to pay their respects to their fallen friend with a set including many PANTERA classics.
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